rantFUJAK

You  have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to  REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who  sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, 'Who's on  First?' might have gone something like  this:

COSTELLO  CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm  setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.   

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT:  Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy  one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's  Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get  stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with  Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the  windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the  windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for  Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use  to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you  have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you  recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just  did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You  recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my  office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend  for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my  office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows

COSTELLO: I  already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my  computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT:  Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in  Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for  windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue  'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start  with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have  anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It  comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my  computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my  computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a  bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One  copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give  you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN  IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer  off?

ABBOTT: Click on  'START'.............

Very good Craig. Is this your own work or have you shamelessly plagiarised someone? :D :D

stole it of course

Right up there with one of my funniest cave diving gags.

Diver (has jump reel in hand, looking for the line to jump to) asks other dive in the team, where is the line. (meaning the line that is being jumped to).

Diver being asked replies with hand gestures indicating that the line is in the diver's hand (then proceeds to take a photo).

hmmmm.... funny. 

reckon mine was funnier